I've been having strange sensations, increasing and fewer minutes apart, starting at my stomach and making their way to my heartbeat. I thought to time them to see if they were two minutes apart, til I realized it had nothing to do with contractions and going into labor. They had everything to do with me realizing that I'm actually pregnant and my body is changing. You might say I had a "freaked out moment of being pregnant". Freaked OUT Moment (FOM), I'm starting to show; began probably sometime this past week. It didn't really hit me til Friday when I realized I no longer fit into my bra. I know, I know... and I thought this before too... how great it must be to be getting bigger and refining that hour-glass figure. But becoming more busty has actually started to make me feel a little uncomfortable. I mean, yes, it's probably more sexy, but I'm just not sure I like it. I find myself tempted to wear a sign that says "It's not my fault they're growing, I'm pregnant."
The other thing that's started growing lately is my belly. I have been in the habit of holding in my stomach, as if holding in would reduce the appearance of what's growing down there. I guess it's part of my struggle to overcome my denial. Anyway, below are the pictures.
I've been trying to figure out why I'm having such trouble accepting these simple and quite expected changes. Yesterday when Nils and I went to the DMV to register our car and update our driver's licenses, I found myself sometimes embarrassed to realize that people might be able to tell just by site that I'm pregnant. EEk!! I don't want that attention. Again, I have to remind myself that on the outside, people see pregnant women and think, "Aw! How cute! You have such a glow!" But in my mind when people look at me (if they even notice at this point that I'm pregnant) the thoughts that cross my mind is more like, "Ack! I'm not ready! Don't look at me like you know something I don't!!" I really need to relax, don't I?
