For the third time, Jane got into my lipstick and this time has been the worst so far. Normally she keeps it to her face, hands, tons on her lips, and numerous smears on her shirt. This time, she got it all over the couch and one of the pillows - the walls and luckily just a little on the carpet. The time before that (yesterday) when she kept it quite contained, it was a blessing since she had earlier barfed in the car and I already had that to clean up too.
The sweetest thing is though, neither Nils nor I noticed Jane getting into my makeup until she emerged from the bathroom with a handful of toilet paper. After closer examination of all the evidence -- lipstick-ed toilet paper in the trash can, an empty toilet paper roll, and Jane's face -- we realized that she had been trying to clean up her mess. Isn't that just so cute! So while it took me a while to hand wash out the lipstick stains from the couch cover (dish soap can do wonders!) and the pillow case and her clothes, it is still so sweet that she attempted to do something about the mess she made. Getting her to understand that she can't wear lipstick like mommy might take awhile though. As we were cleaning and showing her the damage we said, "Jane - do you play with this (pointing to the makeup)?" "Uh-huh." "No, Jane. You don't play with this." "Jane - are you supposed to play with Mommy's makeup?" "Uh-huh." "Sigh. No, Jane. You aren't supposed to play with Mommy's makeup."
Mmm... I wonder if a plastic makeup set for Christmas would work?
7 comments:
Silly me! I didn't add that initially I was really mad when I found my lipstick ruined and it smeared all over the place. I didn't have the impulse to spank Jane, but I'm really glad I didn't overreact since Jane was trying to clean up her own mess and she is naturally going to try to copy Mom. It's worth it to take a step back from these frustrating messes and remember what's really important.
Emily, you did a great job assessing the situation! :) Yes I would believe the plastic set will do wonders and beyond! :) You are a great role model, no wonder Jane wants to be like you. ;)
Nice moral to your story, Emily=take a step back and see what the child is doing, as in trying to clean up, before punishing! However, as your mom, I would suggest hiding your makeup from now on....Jane has other things to play with and you don't need the frustration of these repeat occurrences...Love, Mom
Em,
In my humble opinion you need to nip this in the bud ASAP. Kids need to know clearly when they have overstepped the boundaries of what's acceptable from a young age. It's not cute when natural inclinations get bigger and bigger (in size and cost to the parent).
Firstly I would recognise that the location of the make-up is far too accessible, time for a new home up nice and high.
Secondly she needs a stern talking to, mommy's makeup is not for kids. These are my things and you aren't allowed to touch ever, without mommy's permission. Make a game of it, ok here is a bunch of items Jane tell me what things you can play with and what things you can't play with? We have a rule in our house our kids aren't allowed in our room without one of us being in there. Tis a good rule, for things like jewelry and personal things not to get played with and lost.
Thirdly spanking isn't bad. Different strokes for different kids. For example we know that just threatening a spank to Gigi gets her to comply to our rules, immediately. If she's very naughty then she gets a light spank, guess what, the lesson is learned.
We need to teach our kids young and with effective methods or otherwise before you know it the kids are winning and the parent is not.
Case in point today we had 3 sets of family friends over for a BBQ after Rocky's blessing. 1 family clearly has more diciplined kids 2 did not. Games we had packed away in cupboards (not for group playing) were pulled out and sprawled through the house, I can't find the parts. We had BYO meat. Toby put our food on the table and when I got out to our food it was all but gone and on all their kids plates half eaten and not on my dad's, nephew and my kids plates as with Nana, Toby and mine. When I asked them why they were eating our food they said well it's too late now isn't it! as they took another bite. RUDE.
We found them cutting aluminium cans in our front yard with our scissors (dangerous for lawn mowing, I shall now have to check the yard for bits, so my kids don't cut themselves), kids coming out of the toilet after doing a poo and not washing their hands (gross).
In my opinion parents that aren't teaching through discipline and constant reminders of manners, rules and respect.
As parents we have a hefty responsibility, quite tiresome at times, to not raise riff raff and pests to society.
It's a great idea to take her attention to something else. Like the play make-up you suggested. I wouldn't wait for Christmas try it now.
That said if she is like Gigi she likes the mess of things, and colour. So you might need something that creates colour like giving her painting time (supervised), playdoh ( I personally hate playdoh)etc.... Playing dress ups, get her clothes to dress up in and be pretty without the mess, other than putting the clothes away, of course.
Or paint her toe nails (you doing it) as a treat. I'm not a fan of fingernails being painted on little girls.
Basically what is it that is drawing her to the red lipstick? and finding a replacement that is amicable.
Anyhow here's my thoughts!
Thanks for all the good comments so far! I did want to answer my mom by saying that I knew in the back of my mind that she would get into it again because I had my makeup bag in the diaper bag. We'd been out earlier and I'd put my makeup on in the car. What I need to do is remember to put the diaper bag away in the closet where she can't get it so that I'm saved the trouble of the mess. That's another reason why I didn't feel it right to punish Jane in the traditional sense because I had left it in the diaper bag - and had left the diaper bag out - for her to get.
I agree with teaching children good discipline. I liked Sharole's ideas of other things I could do with Jane to show her there are more fun things to do than to get into mommy's lipstick. Creativity must be every mom's middle name in order to succeed. The undisciplined children you describe, Sharole, sound like a reflection more of the parents than their own decision to misbehave. Parents not only teach in moments of discipline but by attitude and example.
One final note... I do believe spanking has its place, but it's not the only way to teach. Teachers at schools can't spank children. How did we learn from them? Every parent should decide wisely how to use the spanking method to discourage certain behavior... but it's not the only way to get the desired result of good behavior.
I think she will enjoy using lipstick all her life. My mother always did use it when she went out somewhere. Never go without it. NEVER!
For me, I dont believe in spanking the kid. I never or wont plan to spank my future kids. I will follow the Supernanny's discripline. You would ask me, " Would you be patient enough to put a child back in timeout 30 or so times? " Yeah, I would! Jesus has been so patient with us so we should do the same thing with the kids. I am not telling you how to do it but for me, this is how I would do it with my future children. I would sit and explain why it is bad then give a hug with love! :)
<http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/Why-children-need-discipline.aspx
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